What happened to all the girl bosses?
A change in identity, final week to join my container for freelancers and interesting links from this week.
I distinctly remember my first day working in an office. I wore a pencil dress, heels and carried my lunch in a Macy’s brown bag that my Aunt had brought me from New York (remember those?).
I can tell you that I was VERY excited to be what TikTok would now call a “corporate girlie”, or what we once unironically called the “girl boss”.
Today, most of us are fully aware of how crass the term girl boss is, and how it made a mockery of something we once believed was possible: that we could have a career that was once reserved for white, middle-class men - so long as we just worked hard enough for it.
But back then, we honestly used it as an identifier. A sign that scaling the career ladder and making money was the ultimate dream and number one priority.
This was off the back of the 2008-recession where our generation were told we could have it all, despite facing very difficult economic decisions. I think this was also influenced by there suddenly being a handful of women in mainstream media who were at the top of well-known companies (and I literally mean a handful). I devoured business books by the likes of Karren Brady and Sheryl Sandberg, believing that all I had to do was “lean in” and work hard enough to have everything I’d ever wanted.
And this worked for a while.
I did really enjoy those first few years of my career and thrived off the hard work and how quickly I was recognised as a “great” employee.
The trouble was, that as I neared my early thirties the signs of working hard and prioritising my career above all else were beginning to show. Despite having made the jump to a leadership position in a fast-growth, scaling company, with a good salary and many other perks like flexible working and unlimited holiday, I was completely burned out. It turns out, being a great employee is often at odds with feeling like a happy human.
When you can’t say no, excessively people please, are incapable of setting boundaries and think your work is a matter of life or death, the physical toll this takes end up showing in your health. For me this was physical as well as mental, and when it forced me to overhaul my life, the person on the other side was someone quite different.
Suddenly my rise in the corporate career held no interest. I wasn’t quietly quitting (the TikTok trend that started post-covid, on how to do your job while putting in minimal effort) so much as quitting the “girl boss” dream I’d been sold completely.
I didn’t want to be anyone’s boss, or employee. What I actually wanted was agency over my time again. I wanted to work when I felt energised and choose the projects I wanted to work on. To no longer have to navigate corporate politics or unconscious bias. To do good work for good people, and have an abundance of time left at the end for family, life and rest.
For me, the death of the girl boss image was actually the start of me earning more money, while working less than I’d ever worked before (read more about that here). But this often isn’t the narrative we’re sold.
So many people I speak to are desperate to leave their corporate jobs, to work for themselves and build a career that supports their health and wellbeing. Where life is pushed to the forefront - and work is an aid to that life. Something to enjoy, and make money from, but not something that leads our entire identity.
So while the girl boss is dead, I’d like to say that it is still possible to have the things we once wanted - financial mobility and stability, a comfortable career and ambition. We just don’t have to (or want to) sacrifice ourselves in the way of getting there.
In other words, the girl boss is gone and what we’re seeking now is something different entirely. An idea of a lifestyle that, in my opinion, is far more suited to how women are made to work and live.
Have you quit what was once your dream career? If so I’d love to hear about it - hit reply and let me know.
Yours,
Beth
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Interesting links for you 🙏
Really enjoyed this startup’s take on setting intentions for the new year, and remembering that our brains don’t distinguish imagination from reality
If you’re considering going VAT registered in your self-employed business friend of the newsletter Jordan shares some great (UK) resources here on what you need to know
Interesting take on the future of the “digital” marketing agency, and how, as most of us have been saying for a while, it’s all just marketing
Thinking about requesting flexible working this year? Anna’s guide here may help
Thanks for reading ❤️
Hi I’m Beth 👋 a freelance marketer who helps manage and execute marketing for startups and growing businesses 🚀.
I also offer mentoring for freelance and in-house marketers looking for fulfilling, financially rewarding careers. Join my Thriving Freelancer programme here.
You can find out more about what I do on My website or Built by Content.